A Bitter Fall of Tears
'Yet another wildly immersive story from Mr. Battle...' Amazon 5 star review
'I love this author’s magical story-telling...' Amazon 5 star review
'This amazing story...' Amazon 5 star review
Amazon.com rating = 5 Stars
520 pages of dark epic fantasy...
It is nothing but madness to willingly walk into the Woeful Land.
But Elsos has no choice, for the fate of the world rests on his young shoulders.
50 years ago, the Oldgen were utterly defeated by The Seven.
Now they are back to avenge the Human Crime, and The Seven are no more.
How can one man stand against them?
If he can learn to control the terrible power that is his legacy, then maybe Elsos can prevail.
But only if he can avoid the madness that will come with his brother’s touch.
Only if he can avoid the blade of the child-killer.
Only if he can remember who he is.
To find the help he needs, he must break free of the chain-gang that pulls the city of Royal Chldion on its ancient pilgrimage.
He must cross the Woeful Land and hope to keep his mind and body safe from harm.
He must find the last remnants of The Seven and persuade them to give their aid.
If he fails, then humanity will be swept away by the abominable Oldgen, and darkness will fall on the land.
If you like your epic fantasy full of complex characters, dark deeds, extravagant heroism and earthy humour, then you should get your hands on A Bitter Fall of Tears today!
'I loved it, and can't wait for the rest of the series.' Amazon 5 star review
Buy today and get a free copy of: The Will of the Fletterschem
Strange Eventful Histories
When you buy A Bitter Fall of Tears, go to chapter 13, note the first word and email it to me at and I'll email you back with links to both books
It's all about the box-sets!
The Misthaven: The Complete Trilogy
Magic is not easy, but, if you can bear the agony, oh the power you shall have.
In a land of fading Magic, where mankind is the least of all of the sentient creatures, can a hero be found?
Someone will have to stand against the evil Trytor, and find a way to keep the last remaining source of Magic from the grasp of the much-diminished Elvenfolk.
As the story unfolds within the almost 1200 pages of this rich Fantasy trilogy, you will witness atrocity and heroism, treachery and despair, folly and sacrifice, laughter and tears .
If you are a fan of Tolkien, Sanderson or Martin, you are in for a treat, as you enter the evocative world of Misthaven and meet its doomed and desperate inhabitants.
From the man who must save the first-born of a generation, to the man who must prevail against an unbeatable foe. From the Giants who want nothing but free food and ale, to the Crawlord who would sacrifice everything to lay his hand on the Magic of the Wellstone. From the creature still clinging to the last of his humanity, to the boys much too eager to discover the destiny that awaits them – hero, fool, hero?
Take a drink of good strong ale with the people of Misthaven and share their joy in a story well told, as they try not to think of the evil that threatens their hidden land.
"High Fantasy at its best. Tolkien would be proud."
When the Age of Magic comes to an end, then the First Men shall return.
These Foolish Things: The Complete Boxset
Now available together for the first time, the complete Science Fiction Comedy series featuring Philip Humphrey Chandler as the socially inept hero who likes beer, coffee and breasts – but not necessarily in that order.
Save 50% on the cost of the individual books by getting the boxset now!
If you loved The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, then you should get your hands on these books now!
Book 1: IN FAVOUR OF FOOLS - He may just be the hero you deserve.
Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he likes the easy life, working at his desk and dreaming about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts.
Then he meets the ex-wife of a missing crime lord, and everything changes. Suddenly he's squirting to distant planets, finding dead bodies, dancing with aliens, saving a world from the clutches of the cutest of aliens and, for one brief moment, he becomes the richest man in the universe.
Book 2: WHAT KIND OF FOOL? - Now squirt-capable!
Phil and the gang are back, and so is Millie. This time, she means to make Phil pay for his role in preventing her becoming the richest little alien in the Universe, and she will put the balance of the Universe at risk to achieve her aims.
In a tale where Phil becomes Spiderman, Sam becomes Phil, and Julie becomes a convict, can Phil emerge as the hero his mother never said he would be, or will Millie succeed in her dastardly plans?
Book 3: NOBODY PUTS A FOOL IN A CORNER - At last the hero!
Earth is under threat from an AI that has gone suddenly all Orwellian, and from a race of genocidal mushrooms who have a real problem with the number of legs we have.
Can Phil find a way to save the world from this double threat?
With a bonus ‘Origins’ short story and a final lament from the Narrative Facilitator.
Don’t miss this last chance to laugh with Phil.